Dear Future husband.

I will want a lot from you a lot in the future but please…please…be a strong man who speaks up when something is wrong and steps forward to do something. 

I need you to be able to stand up to my mom. You see she is a narcissistic woman who loves getting her way and if it is not her way then she will say that you bewitched me or something.

And also…please, I hope your mom isn’t as batshit crazy as mine and too add. Please let’s make money and buy her a house and someone to take care of her when she is getting old. I am not planning on sending my mom to an elderly institution. Granted you are an African man…please. I have enough relatives issues in mine, I kinda hope you have a small family.

My grandmother had 8 sisters and a brother. So I have like 50…aunties and uncle’s.( My mother’s sisters are also batshit crazy like m mom.) so you should imagine if they get married and have kids. I can’t keep up with how many cousins I have and that’s just from my moms side. I have 50 cousins on my dad’s side. So I really can’t keep up with more large extended family if you  exist.

I’ll stay single if you are the type that involves his issues to the other relatives congregation.

Give me a heads up.

Internet is over run by creepy indian men.

I was reading a post about Creepy Indian men and i couldn’t stop laughing.

This guy was talking about how creepy the majority of Indian can be. He currently leaves in India and how he would always catch on how they stared at the women, girls and it became a point that it was so uncomfortable for him and he said if he felt that way, then how would the women feel and if it was a girl alone, then she would have already left. I really liked this post.

Them Indian men have flooded dating sites. The sleazy, creepy messages do not come from my African brothers, no. My messages flood with Indian men who want just to be friend and we all know that is bullshit.

Believe me. A few have declared their love for me. Not the marriage kind of Love but the kind of love that for some reason they think its got power enough for it make you take a nude photo and send it to them as a show of love, they almost immediately ask for a nude or sometimes they just randomly send you a picture of their dick and not one but if they tell you they love you. It won’t be long before they ask for a nude.

You talk to them and they say how they are studying engineering or something and you think finally an educated guy to talk to but they all somehow have their brain occupied by this Creepy behavior where all their education flies out the window and they ask the one thing i hate the most.

“Send me your picture.”

and i have heard of this situation from lots of women, girls. It’s always the Indian men who watch perhaps too much porn and they think us African girls are not educated and very poor that a message from an Indian will make us feel special. They think all of us African girls are willing to put on a free porn show for them like they have seen in these porn sites.

They are just plain fucking creepy. They come onto normal sites and you don’t log in for a while and when you go back you wonder when did this start becoming a dating site? They are everywhere leering their creepiness like zombie virus.

It would be okay if they were gentlemen but honestly this Indian met who are somehow in every social site tend to have a very disturbed mind.

WE ARE AFRICAN GIRLS WHO YES OTHERS HAVE BIG HIPS OR DON’T WE DON’T CARE FOR YOU CREEPY INDIAN MEN. We are perfectly fine with our African men.

 

IE

 

 

My Melanin, My Insecurities…

You might think African women have no insecurities about their skin color then you are in for a surprise.

How African’s perceive beauty is what makes everyone else more sub conscious about their skin color. No one wants to be dark. It has come to that point that when they describe someone dark, they use “she is almost Sudanese black”.

I have got neighbours, had class mates who were Sudanese and they have a complexion close to Purple. Dark purple and imagine if I constantly berated about my skin color how about them? I do it. I just did it now.

Kids are mean. They don’t know their names but identity them as ” Akina Sudanese” (the sudanese Guys) Not by their names and after they have gone I am suddenly overwhelmed by the guilt of not correcting my nephew. Telling him to go ask their names. 

I am in a country where they identify you by your tribe. If you don’t mention your Mother or fathers name then based on your complexion they will unconciously put you on a category. 

(“Anaka Mkamba”)(“she looks like a kamba”) but I grew up and wondered why I felt humiliated and angry when they thought of me as a Jaluo. I wanted to scratch my skin out. I remember joining college and there was this girl so tall, slender and I almost turned lesbian for her. She was so beautiful. She was a Jaluo and I came out of that prejudiced opinion that I had formed. 

That darkness doesn’t mean ugly. 

Brown skin is the popular skin color to be and the pointy. (“Pointy in which I don’t know how it even means what it means. Pointy is what we refer to Interracial babies.) The ones who you know one of their Parents are White or Arab or Asian…etc.

You will find most women just sleep with them foreign men just to have their beautiful babies…and before we know it. We are all going to be yellow skinned. 

The skin issue has gotten to the point of bleaching. Now those that do it are stupid on another level because you will discover they bleached their faces, neck and arms and perhaps forgot about their legs. 

There is this crave to not be dark and I still feel insecure about it but I am slowly starting to love this complexion of mine. 

But like when I say “I am fat” I didn’t mean I was ugly just fat. So when I say I am dark, don’t tell me that I am Still pretty like you need to console me.

Taking a break from looking pretty.

The big chop is not for everyone and i am taking a break from looking pretty.

You should the see the amount of selfies i have taken. None. What is making it worse?

I got this job at an auto spare shop where i just have this overalls that just perfectly fits me in with the other men, disregarding the fact that i am a total girl who loves all things pink and purple and cries aaaa lot in movies and as well talks in them. Loves romance books, i am such a girl, to my dainty soft hands. How i got this job is beyond me. Thank heavens i do not do the hard work. I am busy writing delivery’s and invoices, receipts. Taking the cash.

When people come to buy some second hand spare parts they blink twice when i speak because. Hey! i am girl. What made you aware?

Oh i don’t know. Your curiously very soft tiny voice resembling like a child. I am having an identity crisis here. I am considering going to job all grunged up in baggy jeans and a big hoodie and peeling my sparkly studs out but my voice will just destroy my character.

Anyway. As long as my 24 year old body stays where i work and my hairstyle? my disaster big chop. I’ll just take a huge break from looking pretty.

and you know what kills my buzz? No hot men to drool at, you know? Like those steamy romance books i read with hot men resembling Vikings. *sigh*

 

 

Sansheng, Wangchuan Wu Shang Index

Hamster428

Sansheng, Death Exists Not at the River of Oblivion
(original version)

by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang 九鹭非香

Original Chinese link

002

Update: I have received Jiu Lu Fei Xiang’s express consent to translate this novel for non-commerial purposes. It is illegal to take my translations without permission or use my translations for any monetary gains.

I can’t seem to find a nice balance between resting and working. If I work, I get tired, if I don’t, I get bored. lol. Rainy Sundays are also the death of me. My fingers keep itching to flex (or is that just old people’s arthritis? >_<) So anyway, don’t get excited yet, this is just the index page for future chapters. This time, I am translating 三生,忘川无殇 by 九鹭非香which was recommended to me by one of my editors, Lily. Out of all the xianxias I’ve read, this is definitely one of the shortest and…

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Death After the Big Chop?

There is that assumption that once you chop your hair that you are done with the hair business. Done with going to salons or the expensive maintenance.

I have someone in my life that is dedicated to complaining about my worry over the hair.

When I ask her how much box braids would cost and she looks at me as if I cursed the ground under her feet. 

With which she answers. (I do not know. What ? Are you tired of your hair already? You chopped your hair. Forget about the salon.)

While in fact my head is swirling with countless ideas of what to do with my hair. 

What she wants me to keep to one style? Its not why I cut my hair. I didn’t chop my hair because I got tired of hair. In fact I love it and I chopped it for the natural hair. 

This is my journey where I experiment every shit available that’s going to make me and my hair look beautiful without relaxing my hair.

She then begins to mention how expensive short hair is. I want to tell her beauty isn’t cheap or easy. I don’t plan on staying short you know! 

I plan on loving the natural curls on my head because I got them. Patience. 

I am learning.

Learning about the hair products.

I have so Much planned for this head. 

When I had the relaxed hair. I was always worried about my hair getting wet. My hair cutting. Saving for my retouch after every two months.

Having limited styles on my head. Now I am all over Pinterest searching every thing.