Whatever happens. They are still family.

Once in a while I am required to visit my aunty who made the life of my sister and I horrible when we were young. She is still horrible but we are older and we can handle her. 

Yet I am surprised I am able to stand her and I am surprised with how much my family have to stand each other for the name of family. 

My rural home is like a close neet neighborhood who lands were divided between them and they build homes next door to each other and family gatherings where they all unite and have meals and underneath it all…

They all had secrets. 

You would never know the grandmother I hug and watch her have a hearty conversation with my Aunty. Never knowing this grandmother abused this Aunty when she was young and was also the woman who molested this Aunties brothers. 

Yet they cook a meal and drinks with fellow cousins and everything is buried. 

Not knowing that once upon a time I cried when my grandfather died he had continuously raped my mom and her big sister when they were young. 

They all moved on not forgetting but they had no one to turn to. No one knows and if they knew at that time nothing would have happened. It was kept a secret…

It completely makes me understand why most of the women in my family are bitter women. They are very bitter women who have never gotten any kind of justice and they can’t because family is family. What can you do? 

I do not have that kind of strength to stomach it like they did. They go and make a meal for a man who molested them. They laugh with their wives and their children. They pay medical fees for them. Help them. Because of family. 

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Following up To my Hair Alterations.

Yesterday I posted about my discion to have my hair locked. Sisterlocs. You should have seen how excited I was and I Started searching for how it would cost and right after I simply just stopped having hope. 

The cost for sisterlocs are bloody expensive. 

Sure I would have asked for cash from my mom but not 20k people. I can’t even try and open my mouth to try and even utter the words ‘mom…I need 20k’. 

Sisterlocs are the kind of styles that you dig into your own pocket and pay it. Money that I will have it when I am 30. Perhaps at that time. I will have 20k pocket cash to use however I please but now I don’t even know what to do to have that kind of cash as pocket money. 

Everybody meaning my friends and bro all were cool and like me when they heard the price. They were like “what the hell?” 

My Sisterloc dreams crashed before they even started. I ain’t going to dish out 20k…right now.

What do I do to motivate myself? “Perhaps when I am 30 the prices will have dropped.”

That is what I say. I have got six years to save and hope prices will drop in this six years.

I am moving on to other styles to try on my head. 

More hair altering choices. 

I thought I was done with life changing choices. Like cutting my hair. Now I have decided on locking my hair. 

Sisterlocs. 

Yes thanks to Pinterest once again. I am trying to find out how much it will cost to install one and make the plunge. After cutting my long hair. I am no longer scared of taking big risks with it. I am going to do it and try and hustle money from my bro or mum. I am a freeloader and at my age. Asking money is harder. It’s called true hustling and I have the best argument. I am locking my hair. They will not hear from me…a lot. This is what put me into the box. 

I want that…so bad. *sigh*. I’ll get back to you once I have taken the dive.