Taking a break from looking pretty.

The big chop is not for everyone and i am taking a break from looking pretty.

You should the see the amount of selfies i have taken. None. What is making it worse?

I got this job at an auto spare shop where i just have this overalls that just perfectly fits me in with the other men, disregarding the fact that i am a total girl who loves all things pink and purple and cries aaaa lot in movies and as well talks in them. Loves romance books, i am such a girl, to my dainty soft hands. How i got this job is beyond me. Thank heavens i do not do the hard work. I am busy writing delivery’s and invoices, receipts. Taking the cash.

When people come to buy some second hand spare parts they blink twice when i speak because. Hey! i am girl. What made you aware?

Oh i don’t know. Your curiously very soft tiny voice resembling like a child. I am having an identity crisis here. I am considering going to job all grunged up in baggy jeans and a big hoodie and peeling my sparkly studs out but my voice will just destroy my character.

Anyway. As long as my 24 year old body stays where i work and my hairstyle? my disaster big chop. I’ll just take a huge break from looking pretty.

and you know what kills my buzz? No hot men to drool at, you know? Like those steamy romance books i read with hot men resembling Vikings. *sigh*

 

 

Death After the Big Chop?

There is that assumption that once you chop your hair that you are done with the hair business. Done with going to salons or the expensive maintenance.

I have someone in my life that is dedicated to complaining about my worry over the hair.

When I ask her how much box braids would cost and she looks at me as if I cursed the ground under her feet. 

With which she answers. (I do not know. What ? Are you tired of your hair already? You chopped your hair. Forget about the salon.)

While in fact my head is swirling with countless ideas of what to do with my hair. 

What she wants me to keep to one style? Its not why I cut my hair. I didn’t chop my hair because I got tired of hair. In fact I love it and I chopped it for the natural hair. 

This is my journey where I experiment every shit available that’s going to make me and my hair look beautiful without relaxing my hair.

She then begins to mention how expensive short hair is. I want to tell her beauty isn’t cheap or easy. I don’t plan on staying short you know! 

I plan on loving the natural curls on my head because I got them. Patience. 

I am learning.

Learning about the hair products.

I have so Much planned for this head. 

When I had the relaxed hair. I was always worried about my hair getting wet. My hair cutting. Saving for my retouch after every two months.

Having limited styles on my head. Now I am all over Pinterest searching every thing. 

8 Days after my Big chop. 

It feels like a lifetime and I suddenly have so much to do with my new look and hair.

Cutting my hair to my mom was a mute discussion. Not going to happen which happened. 

In this eight days. I have battled with everything. I have never had short hair and its a new experience. 

I always went to the salon to have my hair. So I don’t know what Shampo to use or conditioner and you google and you find all this hair products that have me wincing because I am in Kenya.Africa. 

All those recommendations are not going to help because they are damn expensive and the shipping costs too much.

I have a dictator in my life who is telling me none of the styles I see on Pinterest suite my face. That I should just chop it off and let it grow like Afro where I am gunning for a Tapered hairstyle.

Which she progresses to inform me that those hairstyle’s aren’t natural hair and if they are, our hair are not the same.

Which begs a question that I really wish someone will answer.

(Do we (meaning African women) have different hair texture from the African foreign? (Not only for the African American but also those in Europe, and Asia.)

I have read enough to see we do have the same hair texture. Different but similar.

So this new haircut of mine is something I want to experience. To experiment moderately and I am trying to tell her very politely that 

“Can I just like know my hair. Let me do my hair. Let me make memories and know what style not to put. Can I?)

First day at the barber shop.

Not really first time. Taking my nephew isn’t qualified is it?

Anyway. My first time was after my big chop. Cutting the long hair that I took pride in and I came to conclusion. People say I have nice hair. Never said I looked good in it. 

I decided to chop of the relaxed hair and to my natural hair where I looked a total mess after it.

The guy did cut my relaxed hair but didn’t give my hair shape and after staring at it for two days. I rushed to the nearest barber shop where he Cut my hair. Just how I wanted my head to be shaped. 

Though I am sure he  tried his very best to be patient. Since I kept panicking that I’ll end up looking bald if I don’t keep an eye on it and my poor eyesight wasn’t helping keep watch.

I kept putting my glasses back on just to instruct him (which was annoying)

And I decided to shut up and just put my trust on the guy to make me look good. 

I had assumed that my head shape was just a mess but after that. I am back to loving my head.

Adjusting to what I regret. The big chop.

Those moments that you try and console yourself that the big chop is the way to go. Imagining yourself after the big chop. Looking at the mirror trying to picture your face with a big chop.

Your friends telling you going natural is the best way to go and I did it. 

Going on Pinterest  and liking it but its not what you get. 

And what I will get accustomed to it and I regret…kinda. I don’t know. Adjusting to my new look. Making my face look different from what I am used to and then deciding to be patient.

Patience…wait. Wait until hair grows out and do whatever I want with it.

I am talking about hair. Cutting off the relaxed hair and remaining with your natural hair and having some guy even out your hair and you don’t like it but I never did like my styles before and grew to liking them.

I’ll grow into it.