Dear Future husband.

I will want a lot from you a lot in the future but please…please…be a strong man who speaks up when something is wrong and steps forward to do something. 

I need you to be able to stand up to my mom. You see she is a narcissistic woman who loves getting her way and if it is not her way then she will say that you bewitched me or something.

And also…please, I hope your mom isn’t as batshit crazy as mine and too add. Please let’s make money and buy her a house and someone to take care of her when she is getting old. I am not planning on sending my mom to an elderly institution. Granted you are an African man…please. I have enough relatives issues in mine, I kinda hope you have a small family.

My grandmother had 8 sisters and a brother. So I have like 50…aunties and uncle’s.( My mother’s sisters are also batshit crazy like m mom.) so you should imagine if they get married and have kids. I can’t keep up with how many cousins I have and that’s just from my moms side. I have 50 cousins on my dad’s side. So I really can’t keep up with more large extended family if you  exist.

I’ll stay single if you are the type that involves his issues to the other relatives congregation.

Give me a heads up.

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My Melanin, My Insecurities…

You might think African women have no insecurities about their skin color then you are in for a surprise.

How African’s perceive beauty is what makes everyone else more sub conscious about their skin color. No one wants to be dark. It has come to that point that when they describe someone dark, they use “she is almost Sudanese black”.

I have got neighbours, had class mates who were Sudanese and they have a complexion close to Purple. Dark purple and imagine if I constantly berated about my skin color how about them? I do it. I just did it now.

Kids are mean. They don’t know their names but identity them as ” Akina Sudanese” (the sudanese Guys) Not by their names and after they have gone I am suddenly overwhelmed by the guilt of not correcting my nephew. Telling him to go ask their names. 

I am in a country where they identify you by your tribe. If you don’t mention your Mother or fathers name then based on your complexion they will unconciously put you on a category. 

(“Anaka Mkamba”)(“she looks like a kamba”) but I grew up and wondered why I felt humiliated and angry when they thought of me as a Jaluo. I wanted to scratch my skin out. I remember joining college and there was this girl so tall, slender and I almost turned lesbian for her. She was so beautiful. She was a Jaluo and I came out of that prejudiced opinion that I had formed. 

That darkness doesn’t mean ugly. 

Brown skin is the popular skin color to be and the pointy. (“Pointy in which I don’t know how it even means what it means. Pointy is what we refer to Interracial babies.) The ones who you know one of their Parents are White or Arab or Asian…etc.

You will find most women just sleep with them foreign men just to have their beautiful babies…and before we know it. We are all going to be yellow skinned. 

The skin issue has gotten to the point of bleaching. Now those that do it are stupid on another level because you will discover they bleached their faces, neck and arms and perhaps forgot about their legs. 

There is this crave to not be dark and I still feel insecure about it but I am slowly starting to love this complexion of mine. 

But like when I say “I am fat” I didn’t mean I was ugly just fat. So when I say I am dark, don’t tell me that I am Still pretty like you need to console me.